IM gonna use my new xanga now

xXMzSingnSTARXx!

Got this from David who got it from Caitlin. haha

1] am I sexy?
[2] am I sweet?
[3] am I nice?
[4] am I crazy?
[5] am I lovable?
[6] am I funny?
[7] am I weird?
[8] am I selfish?
[9] am I daring?
[10] am I a good person?

"Would You...."
[1] hug me?
[2] kiss me?
[3] hold my hand?
[4] miss me if I was gone?
[5] listen to my problems?
[6] be there for me when i need you the most?
[7] hug me if I cried?
[8] be a good friend?
[9] buy me a hundred roses?
[10] lie to me just to make me happy or tell me the truth that can make me sad?
[11] ever go out with me?
[12] if you already have would u do it again?
[13] let me sleep on your shoulder?
[14] marry me if u could?

"If You Could...."
[1] give me a new name it would be?
[2] hook me up with someone (real) who would it be?
[3] do one thing with me it would be?
[4] drop me one piece of advice it would be?
[5] give me something that's very special from your heart it would it be?
[6] if i asked you to be my girlfriend would you say yes?

“How Well Do You Know Me?”
[1] when's my birthday?
[2] how tall am i?
[3] what school do i go to?
[4] do i have any siblings --> names??
[5] who is my most current ex?
[6] who is my best friend?
[7] who am i crushing on/dating?
[8] favorite animal?
[9] favorite color?
[10] favorite tv show?
[11] favorite song/songs?
[12] favorite music group?

"Just A Few Questions"
[1] what do u love about me?
[2] what is my best quality?
[3] if u could change one thing about me it would be?
[4] what is your honest opinion about me?
[5] if i die will you remember me forever?
[6] would you forgive me if I break your heart or do something that's really bad to you that will cause you pain?

Leave it in my comment once your done!

So i woke up at 12:30 and my dad was pissed that i slept in so late. I dont get what the big deal is. Im juss taking advantage of the summer. i mean, come on! I mean i didnt even get to sleep in last ear on Saturdays. Cuz i had practise or competitions. He should understand that. This past month, im making up for all the Satrudays ive missed! haha

Anyways, i dont know what im doing today. Probably nothing. I gotta practise my speech that i'll be making tomarrow at church.  haha Yay! i get to see John tomarrow! woot haha anyways, i gotta clean or else my dad will have my head!

PART I

1. last dream : Something with John...dont remember                                               
2. last car ride :  today, going to and from Andy and Helens house                                                                                                            
3. last kiss with the opposite sex :     July 3rd  in a hotel on the bed. haha
4. last person in general you kissed : Look above
5. last good cry : Um...June 30th
6. last missing library book : last year sometime
7. last movie seen : Stepford Wives
8. last book read : Dont remember, read too much
9. last curse word uttered : damnit
10. last beverage drank : orange juice mixed with 7up
11. last food consumed : Beef jerky
12. last crush : JOhn, and still is
13. last phone call : Susan, right now!
14. last tv show watched : South Park
15. last item bought : Dress
16.last time showered : Yesterday morning.
17. last time listened to radio: Like, an hour ago
18. last cd played : Elaines  1999 cd
20. last annoyance : Probably Mary.
21.last disappointment : Not seeing John yesterday!
22. last soda drank : coke
23. last thing written : hand written...a signiture
24. last key used : front door
25. last word spoken : last word spoken
26. last trip to the bathroom : an hour back
27. last sleep : last night...
28. last im : right now
29. last weird encounter : yesterday with Paige...anytie with Paige actually.
30. last store shopped :Target
31. last ice cream eaten : French Vanilla in a coke float
32. last time amused : all the time...doesnt stop! hahahahaha
33. last time wanted to die : When John dumped me...
34. last time in love : now
35. last time hugged : when i left Helens house
36. last time scolded : when does the scolding stop?
38. last chair sat on : the one im sitting in now
39. last lipstick worn : dfont wear lipstick
40. last underwear worn : pink satin ones! heehee                                  
41. last bra worn : Tan lacey
42. last shirt worn : black roxy tank
43. last class attended : P.E.
44. last final taken : P.E.
45. last time dancing : The lil club thing they had at Soul Survivor
46. last poster looked at : My GC one.
47. last concert attended : Meeker
48. last webpage visited :  My cool xanga

PART II
1. wallet : its ablue island looking one.
2. room : messy! but surprisingly today it was pretty good
3. coffee cup : dont have one, but i drink coffee like a maniac
4. cd in stereo right now : none                                                                                                
5. what you are wearing now : Black roxy tank, and blue shorts
6. socks : not wearing any
7. car : i want a Thunderbird!
8. in my mouth : bits on cherry
9. in my head : John. what else?                                                            
10. after this : Either sleeping or still talking to Susan
11. person you wish you could see right now : John!             
 12. some of your favorite movies : Too many!                                                      
13. something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month :  School           
14. do you believe in love : im in love so i shoudl think i believe in it.
15. do you believe in soul mates : DUH!
16. do you believe in love at first sight : see above answer
17. what do you want done with your body when you die : Raped, chopped up, put in a box, and slid under a seat on a subway in NY.                                                                                          
18. what is the latest you've ever stayed up : stayed awake for a week
19. ever been to Belgium :nope but i hear they have good waffles                                                   
20. can you eat with chopsticks : I was born to eat with Chopsticks! (i am half asian!)                 
21. what's your favorite coin : quarter                                                           
22. what is your favorite candy : EVERYTHING!
23. what's something that you wish people would understand : why i dont regret things                                      
24. what's something you wish you could understand better : why people judge eachother and then complain abotu people judging them.                         
 25. anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time : JOHN!                                    
26. what's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow :  UM...do someting fun...

PART III

1. do you bite your nails? : NOT ANYMORE!                                                      
 2. are you double jointed? : in my fingers
3. can you roll your tongue? : yes
4. can you raise one eyebrow at a time? : onli my left one                                            
5. can you blow smoke rings?: no                         
6. can you blow spit bubbles?: no
7. can you flare your nostrils?: yes
8. can you cross your eyes?: yes                                                 
9. can you wiggle your ears?: yes
10. tattoos? : not yet                                                                             
11. piercings and where? :ears
12 do you make your bed daily? :  i try to

PART IV

1. which shoe goes on first? : Right then left
2. speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? : yea sadly it was in 5th grade. a guy was making fun of me, i threw my shoe at him, he threw it over the fence.  I cried, yelled at him and then he got it back.
3. on the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? none...or 20                                                                                                              
4. what jewelry do you wear 24/7?: my 5 rings                                                                                                  
5. would you rather be on time and look OK or 10 minutes late and look great?: im always on time and always look great
7. pajamas:  anything comfy

PART V

1. do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? : twirl                          
2. have you ever eaten spam? : DUH!
3. favorite ice cream flavor : French Vanilla                         
4. how many cereals in your cabinet? : 2
5. what's your favorite beverage? : anything cool
6. what's your favorite restaurant? : Stoddards and Tide House     
7. what utensils do you use to eat pizza? : fingers
8. do you cook? :  sometimes.

PART VI

1. how often do you brush your teeth? : twice a day, plus i floss
2. how often do you shower/bathe? : every day                                                
3. how long does your shower last? : 20-40 minutes.
4. hair drying method : towel
5. do you paint your nails? :all the time
6. do you swear? : not as much anymore.
7. do you ever spit? :  no, unattractive.

Part VII
Favorites:
1. actor/actress : Tom Cruis/Nicole Kidman
2. Movie: Too many
3. food :Italian, Asian, and American!                                                                 
4. month : January, July, and October, the last one is randomly
5. day : Saturday and Sunday
6. cartoon : South Park and the SImpson
7. flower :Daisy, thats why my dogs named that!                                          
8. shoes : my strapy black ones.
9. subject in school : history and choir
10. color : purple, hot pink, blood red, and black                                                         
11. sport: Soccer
12. body part on the opposite sex: eyes, hands, feet            
13. tv show :South Park, Simpsons, Americans NExt Top Model, The Quintuplets                                               
14. 5 celebrities you wish you looked like : Paris HIltons body, Jennifer Anistons face, Jlos ass, Tyra banks, all of her, and Mandy Moores Hair                            
15. holiday : Christmas                                                                        
16. book : too many
17. Thing To Do In The Spring : Dance in the pouring rain                                                             
18. Thing To Do In The Summer : Beach!
19. Thing To Do In The Fall : jump into leaf piles
20. Thing To Do In The Winter : cuddle under bankeys                                      
21. perfume or cologne: purfume, Faery Dreams
22. game : to omany to say

PART VIII

1. the cd player :Huh?
2. person you talk most on the phone with : Susan
3. ever taken a cab? : in NY
4. do you regularly check up on: do i regularly check up on..what?
5. what color is your bedroom? : white
6. do you use an alarm clock? : yeah
7. have you ever skinny-dipped with the opposite sex? : no              
8. ever sunbathed nude? : no
8. window seat or aisle? : Aisle, i pee a lot

PART VIIII

1. what's your sleeping position? : Stomach
2. what kind of bed do you like? : Big, and comfy
3. even in hot weather do you use a blanket? : yea, i needa snuggle.0
4. do you snore? : yes
5. do you sleepwalk? : used to
6. do you talk in your sleep? : yes
7. do you sleep with a stuffed animals? : Raggamuffin my kitty
8. how about with the light on? : night light
9. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on?: Radio

PART X

1. what do you look for in a person? : Pretty eyes, nice hair, nice hands, nice feet. haha
2. what is the first thing you notice when you look at a person? :eyes                
3. what do you think of cheating? : should never ever do it                         
4. makeup :i wnt to wear it, but im not allowed

PART XI

1. coke or pepsi? :Coke
2. oranges or apples?: Apples
3. one pillow or two?: two                                                                         
4. deaf or blind? : if i had to pick, Deaf, at least i would be able to see the beauty of the world.
5. pools or hot tubs? : hot tubs!
6. blondes or brunettes? : brunettes on guys, blones on girls
7. tv or radio? : tv, at least i can watch CMT on it! haha
8. beach or pool? : beach
9. tic-tacs or certs? : ticy tacs
10. snooze button or jump out of bed? : snooze button
11. sunrise or sunset?  sunset
12. hamburger or cheeseburger? : Cheeseburger
13. morning or night? : Night
14. sports or news? : News
15. indoors or outdoors? : Outdoors
16. christmas eve or christmas day? : one present on Eve, and the rest on day
17. cake or ice cream? :ice cream cake
18. Bert or Ernie? : Ernie, Bert has a stick up his ass.
19. spicy or mild? : SPICY!
20. spearmint or peppermint? :Spearmint!
21. call or write? : call
22. peanut butter or jelly? : jelly, doesnt stick to the roof of your mouth
23. hamburger or hot dog? : Hanburger
24. dog or cat? : Dog
25. bath or shower? : shower
26. book or movie? : book
27. green or red apples? : niether, a yellowish red hahahah
28. rain or snow? : both
29. Nike or Adidas? :  Adidas

PART XII

1. where do you see yourself in ten years? : ill be 25, so married with one kid at least. maybe 2.
2. how many kids? : 4
3. your profession : i dont even know what i want to do yet.

"If you dont climb the tree, you wont fall out."

i love that, cause its saying, if you dont do something, bad things wont come from it.  But if you dont do it, you dont learn from your mistakes! haha

I dont regret anything, I used to regret everything.  But if i hadnt made all my mistakes, how owuld i have leanred from them.  Like at least now i know not to do those things! haha

Im makign this a long entry, i have a lot on my mind.

I cant wait for my first date.  Ill explain how i want it to be!
So, he picks me up in a limo, he tells me the dress casual but to bring my nice dress.  He comes to the door with a single rose, and not a red one, but a white one! heehee  So we go to somewhere fun, and do something fun. Like make candles, or paint pottery, or you know, something memorible like that.  Then we go play at a park.  Then we change and go have dinner at a nice resturant! and then we go somewhere were we can walk and be romantic! haha and the good night kiss, i want it juss a plain ole kiss, no open mouth, no tongue.  Juss a passionate close mouth kiss.  And then, he wont say ill call you later, cuz you never know when later is, instead he will be specific, like ill call in the morning, or tomarrow afternoon.  Something like that! haha

THat would be the perfet date!

Anyways, onto other things.
I'm glad abotu not doing guard becasue now i can figure out what i want to do with life. 
But im worried, because my 3 best friends are on guard, they are gonna talk about it, and onli hang out with eachother.  So my guess, Emma and CHrissy-BFF, and then Jennie and Susan-BFF...which leaves me with NO ONE!! i was the fucking original guard girl! i was the one everyone knew as the girl on colorguard! alright! and now im fucking not doing it! FUCK! and if anyone even talks abotu how awesome guard is this year im gonna rip their fucking face off! god...

Sorry, im kinda stressed and tired, i miss John so much i keep dreaming about him.  But im worried, cuz he told me there was a girl at school that wanted to go out with him next year.  And im worried he will end up likeing her more and then break up with me, er...or not even ask me out at all.  And then what am i gonna do? Go back to Shawn? I mean, i like John so much, i feel like im not expected to do anything! And plus, Shawn has a girlfriend now...whatever...i am over him...ugh

I am so sad...im gonna be friendless, and im gonna have to hang out with Emilie, but i dont really like her group. I mean i like them, they are cool and all, but they all hate Christians and me=christian.

I wish i had some better friends, becasue mine always ditch me...ugh...maybe ill find someone this year. I want some true loyal friends, not juss friends made from Guard or from classes. But true friends! jeez...i want someone that likes D&D and likes myths and dwarfes/elves/dragon stuff.  I need some NERDS! thats why i wanna go to Caitlins school, Nick is hella cool and i could chill with him.  and he has all these hot friend that like D&D and stuff. 

I feel like such a loser sometimes.  I feel like i annoy people, do i annoy people? I guess i just get to attached.  Ugh.

I feel so pathetic.  Im not good at anything. Im not skinny, im not good in school, im not this and that and everything else! God.  Im good at singing. But how far can that take me! I mean, even if i did become a singer, guys onli like hot singers, and the onli people that would buy my cds probably would be my friends...ugh!

I get to see John Sunday, we wont have alot of time to talk, but hopefully we will talk. And i really want to kiss him! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cant wait till school starts, but then...i dont know, im scared. Im scared about it becasue Freshman year went by so fast.  and then im scared abotu Graduating because i know as soon as we all get out, i will maybe keep in contact with them what, at tops, like a year?? i mean, you gotta think abotu it realistically.  And like, im scared. and i know that i will meet new people and all that jazz. But i dont wanna loose my friends, i know i dont regret things, but i would probably regret not saying certain things to my friends or something! AH! gotta act now, gotta keep being nice and showing my love!